Children Psychological disturbances due to Marital Disputes

With Increase in the marital cases in the courts of India, it becomes increasingly difficult to give proper & healthy upbringing for the children. Children need unified family atmosphere to fully grow into level headed matured adults.

Such issues are further amplified by petty matters like treating the parent as some kind of distant relative & asking them to pay for & submit applications for "visitation" rights, "maintenance", etc. does in no way address the real issue of 24 hours parenting.

Parents need to be with their children 24 hours a day. Neither can the mother replace the father nor can the father replace the mother. It is an universal truth that both the parents are required. However with forcing equality & equating mother with father & father with mother, the various institutions of law go with very frivolous argumentations which may have been valid at least a century ago.

While there are enough laws & documents like -
1. The UNCRC 1989 (United Nations Conventions for the Rights of Children) clearly states that the child needs both the parents and has the rights to freely access both.
2. The Supreme Court has recently made a judgment on Parental Alienation Syndrome.
3. There have been numerous case studies done which point out to the difficulties faced by the Father less & Mother less children.
4. Children go through harrowing time seeing their parents fight. The Institutions make it more difficult by not having professional counseling and other means to let the child understand that the family is unified for them. rather there is long drawn custody battles in the court. It affects their view of life & hampers their upbringing.
5. The United Nations declaration of 1954 declares the family as a universal tree for children to grow.
6. The Constitution of the country gives rights to the children.

However the real implementation is always slack and the real issues get side tracked for commercial gains of others.

Often it has been seen that its easier to go with falsified appeals, rather than be honest. Falsified appeals are heard & complied to for a lot of time.

At the end of the day the very purpose of having a family gets defeated.

The Junior Courts, Child Welfare Committees, Commission for the rights of children, etc.. somehow do not identify the breaking down of the marriage institution of parents with children as a crime. They accept it as a part of the society and there is no grievance redressal mechanism for healthy growth of the children. Inspite of children friendly laws.

If the basic building block of the society breaks down, how does anyone expect the streets to be safe? Strangers get easy access in such situations. It becomes even more difficult to raise the children - both for the Father & the Mother.

After in free country like ours, what at all is the purpose of marriage? Why marry if one of the spouses wants to break down the institution of marriage AFTER birth of children?

Questions
1. Should matrimonial problems be discouraged for parents who have children? Should the courts allow only issue less couples to apply for divorces & litigations?
2. Should marriage come with a vow - "We will not separate if we have children" (that way we may be able to tackle some of our population problems also)
3. Should the organizations built to take care of children be made more responsive & responsible?
Or
4. Should we accept the break down of family value systems as part of a changing country, & let there be more destruction? (Children with family disturbances grow up quite disturbed... One need not count exceptions as general trend) more  

View all 16 comments Below 16 comments
While the matters may vary depending on the situation and family and the court cases. Shouldn't the innocent children be spared from the litigation? Why should not the children get free and fair access to both of the parents? Should not this law be applied automatically for the children of parents with litigation? Should not the parents be asked to assess and assure the children? more  
This is quite a controversial and debatable subject which may find it difficult to reach a consensus so easily without hearing/listening to practical experiences of members in different areas of life..... more  
Dysfunctional families are a sad reality but there is nothing much law can do remedy. It is better for partners to part ways than live in hell; dragging on with the dead body of a marriage is no solution. Children will get affected one way or another. If both partners do not have the maturity to understand how to cope with the stress of parting and not to make the children a party in their fight, then nothing much can be done by law. Counselling by courts is just eye wash if both parties do not participate with their hearts in it. Sadly, some parents use visitation rights as a tool to abuse their partners and pressure them into giving in their demands of divorce; then it is inevitable for the children to get dragged into the fight. No doubt, ideally both parents are necessary for the proper growth of a child but in a situation where both parents live together but fighting all the time, growth of the child will be stunted. In case of separation, it is better to give custody to the parent who is better capable of looking after the child keeping his welfare in mind... here, the courts should expedite the hearing and decide these cases within a certain time frame rather than dragging on the litigation for years! more  
Correct. SAME TIME, we shall demand Curb of Sex Provocatives, ODD ADDS, Ragging, Lovers Day at Social Mandate . more  
PEACE AND LOVE. Different values to life by parents. Mainly based on materalism. No influence by grand parents and other members of family. Minding thelr own business. more  
All such are happening in only Educated and Employed. They even sending off their kids of 18 months to Day care Centers. Individual aspire even ruining their own Children. THE ORIGINAL MANDATE OF GETTING INTO SCHOOL ONLY IN 5th year of Age was the Wise, Responsible and natural mandate for any Parents in which only the Children guarded with 14 yrs. special secured Age limit. This limit is internationally also was recognized . Having understood the serious effects of ignoring Children, the American Government brought strictest Rule in support of Children . Human mentality is such that such strict and stringent Rule only make them realize and follow Human Mandates and Morals. While Diverse in India got drastically reduced , the Marriages shifted over to Matrimonial Bureau links made 20% resulting in Divorce ; Modernized Individualism in Educated Female separated them from Conjugal Bindings with their Egos, Superiority Complexion and unbalanced portrait resulted in another 20% ; The issue of Luxury amidst existing economic insufficiency added with the undue desire of Property/Money by Males from 2005 AND , changed mentality in Female through the 2005 Amendment Act that endowed additional Share from Parents , resulted in 30% increase in Divorce ; while the issues from the effects of Teasing , Ragging , Love and Lovers' Day added with the ODD ADDS directing for inevitable Divorce if any thing of Consent found after Marriage is scoring the balance 30% for opting Divorces . Repel of Maintenance Awards ; Conditioning No Second Marriage if Divorce opted beyond the conditions of existing Section 13 ; Mandating Children Responsibility over the Male Spouse with specific bindings IS ONLY REMEDY SINCE WE CANNOT CONVINCE ANY INDIVIDUAL OF SUCH ABOVE QUALITIES . more  
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