7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child By Marguerite Lamb
We all know the basics, yet we all struggle with kids. This one is a good refresher of the basics of raising happy children.
"Give your child the skills to rebound from setbacks and pave the way to success"
What Makes a Child Happy?
We all want the same things for our kids. We want them to grow up to love and be loved, to follow their dreams, to find success. Mostly, though, we want them to be happy. But just how much control do we have over our children's happiness? My son, Jake, now 7, has been a rather somber child since birth, while my 5-year-old, Sophie, is perennially sunny. Jake wakes up grumpy. Always has. Sophie, on the other hand, greets every day with a smile. Evident from infancy, their temperaments come, at least in part, from their genes. But that doesn't mean their ultimate happiness is predetermined, assures Bob Murray, PhD, author of Raising an Optimistic Child: A Proven Plan for Depression-Proofing Young Children -- for Life (McGraw-Hill). "There may be a genetic propensity for depression, but our genes are malleable and can be switched on or off depending on the environment," he says. "The research clearly shows that happy, optimistic children are the product of happy, optimistic homes, regardless of genetic makeup." What can you do to create a home where your child's happiness will flourish? Read on for seven strategies that will strengthen your child's capacity to experience joy.
Foster Connections
The surest way to promote your child's lifelong emotional well-being is to help him feel connected -- to you, other family members, friends, neighbors, daycare providers, even to pets. "A connected childhood is the key to happiness.
Don't Try to Make Your Child Happy
It sounds counterintuitive, but the best thing you can do for your child's long-term happiness may be to stop trying to keep her happy in the short-term. "If we put our kids in a bubble and grant them their every wish and desire, that is what they grow to expect, but the real world doesn't work that way,"
Nurture Your Happiness
While we can't control our children's happiness, we are responsible for our own. And because children absorb everything from us, our moods matter. Happy parents are likely to have happy kids, while children of depressed parents suffer twice the average rate of depression.
Praise the Right Stuff
Not surprisingly, studies consistently link self-esteem and happiness. Our children can't have one without the other. It's something we know intuitively, and it turns many of us into overzealous cheerleaders. Our child scribbles and we declare him a Picasso, scores a goal and he's the next Beckham, adds 1 and 2 and he's ready for Mensa. But this sort of "achievement praise" can backfire.
Allow for Success and Failure
Of course, if you really want to bolster your child's self-esteem, focus less on compliments and more on providing her with ample opportunities to learn new skills. Mastery, not praise, is the real self-esteem builder.
Give Real Responsibilities
"Happiness depends largely on the feeling that what we do matters and is valued by others," "Without that feeling, we fear we might be excluded from the group. And research shows that what human beings fear more than anything is exclusion." In other words, people have an innate need to be needed. So the more you can convey to your child that he is making a unique contribution to the family, from an early age, the greater his sense of self-worth and his ultimate happiness.
Practice Habitual Gratitude
Finally, happiness studies consistently link feelings of gratitude to emotional well-being. Research has shown that people who keep daily or weekly gratitude journals feel more optimistic, make more progress toward goals, and feel better about their lives overall. For a child, keeping a journal may be unrealistic. But one way to foster gratitude in children is to ask that each member of the family take time daily -- before or during a meal, for example -- to name aloud something he or she is thankful for. The important thing is to make it a regular ritual. "This is one habit that will foster all kinds of positive emotions," she assures, "and it really can lead to lasting happiness." more
"Give your child the skills to rebound from setbacks and pave the way to success"
What Makes a Child Happy?
We all want the same things for our kids. We want them to grow up to love and be loved, to follow their dreams, to find success. Mostly, though, we want them to be happy. But just how much control do we have over our children's happiness? My son, Jake, now 7, has been a rather somber child since birth, while my 5-year-old, Sophie, is perennially sunny. Jake wakes up grumpy. Always has. Sophie, on the other hand, greets every day with a smile. Evident from infancy, their temperaments come, at least in part, from their genes. But that doesn't mean their ultimate happiness is predetermined, assures Bob Murray, PhD, author of Raising an Optimistic Child: A Proven Plan for Depression-Proofing Young Children -- for Life (McGraw-Hill). "There may be a genetic propensity for depression, but our genes are malleable and can be switched on or off depending on the environment," he says. "The research clearly shows that happy, optimistic children are the product of happy, optimistic homes, regardless of genetic makeup." What can you do to create a home where your child's happiness will flourish? Read on for seven strategies that will strengthen your child's capacity to experience joy.
Foster Connections
The surest way to promote your child's lifelong emotional well-being is to help him feel connected -- to you, other family members, friends, neighbors, daycare providers, even to pets. "A connected childhood is the key to happiness.
Don't Try to Make Your Child Happy
It sounds counterintuitive, but the best thing you can do for your child's long-term happiness may be to stop trying to keep her happy in the short-term. "If we put our kids in a bubble and grant them their every wish and desire, that is what they grow to expect, but the real world doesn't work that way,"
Nurture Your Happiness
While we can't control our children's happiness, we are responsible for our own. And because children absorb everything from us, our moods matter. Happy parents are likely to have happy kids, while children of depressed parents suffer twice the average rate of depression.
Praise the Right Stuff
Not surprisingly, studies consistently link self-esteem and happiness. Our children can't have one without the other. It's something we know intuitively, and it turns many of us into overzealous cheerleaders. Our child scribbles and we declare him a Picasso, scores a goal and he's the next Beckham, adds 1 and 2 and he's ready for Mensa. But this sort of "achievement praise" can backfire.
Allow for Success and Failure
Of course, if you really want to bolster your child's self-esteem, focus less on compliments and more on providing her with ample opportunities to learn new skills. Mastery, not praise, is the real self-esteem builder.
Give Real Responsibilities
"Happiness depends largely on the feeling that what we do matters and is valued by others," "Without that feeling, we fear we might be excluded from the group. And research shows that what human beings fear more than anything is exclusion." In other words, people have an innate need to be needed. So the more you can convey to your child that he is making a unique contribution to the family, from an early age, the greater his sense of self-worth and his ultimate happiness.
Practice Habitual Gratitude
Finally, happiness studies consistently link feelings of gratitude to emotional well-being. Research has shown that people who keep daily or weekly gratitude journals feel more optimistic, make more progress toward goals, and feel better about their lives overall. For a child, keeping a journal may be unrealistic. But one way to foster gratitude in children is to ask that each member of the family take time daily -- before or during a meal, for example -- to name aloud something he or she is thankful for. The important thing is to make it a regular ritual. "This is one habit that will foster all kinds of positive emotions," she assures, "and it really can lead to lasting happiness." more
Viewed by 84
Very good efforts put in, Ms. Sheetal. The article is really inforamtive and educative. Looking forward for more such articles. more
May 17
I must congratulate you for writing some very basic principles of parenting so simply. I would like to know you better so if you want you can reach me at 9810319505. more
May 16
